Saturday Double Header Dynamics

Saturday was frought with peril for BFL's wizardcaster Nehemiah the Strained Thought. The BFL covered two games simultaneously: Bloody Vikings! vs. Disembowlers and Holy Terra Warriors vs. New Ork Skullcrushaz. This required that Nehemiah be teleported between each game repeatedly by the witch sisters Foxe and Abbye. Unfortunately, Nehemiah disappeared into the aether on a return trip to the Disembowlers' stadium. Apparently, Abbye became distracted by particularly gruesome decapitation by Disembowler minotaur Smash and failed to reel Nehemiah out of the teleport. If you would like to join the BFL's wizardcast team, please contact Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to Our Great Doom Khorne. On to the games highlights...

For New Ork, things started well, but ended poorly. The Skullcrushaz and Warriors' game was a rematch from two weeks ago, a controversial game where Warriors' fans rioted twice and invaded the pitch. New Ork took the opening kickoff and drove the ball down the field for a quick touchdown. Holy Terra played a weak defense, close to the line of scrimmage, and this hurt them early.

Things quickly turned in Holy Terra's favor. On the next kickoff, Holy Terra pushed the ball into to the Skullcrushaz half of the pitch. The Warriors exploded out of their patented "I" formation, using catchers and blitzers to take the lead. This invasion was not met in force because the Warrior's newest player, Ogre "Big Head" Todd, distracted much of New Ork's linemen. Unfortunately, "Big Head" failed to actively earn that recognition, mostly falling flat on his back or standing idly, flinging boogers. The Orcs failed to flatten the fastest humans especially uber-Warrior, Blitzer "Grim Reaper" Granger, with their back-positioned blitzers. Granger evaded New Ork tackle zones and darted through the melees to pick up the bouncing ball. Unable to keep Granger down, the human blitzer scooted into the endzone to tie the game, 1-1. The first half ended with New Ork's players bobbling the ball around the pitch.

Holy Terra received the ball to begin the second half and picked up where they left off. So did the Warriors' lunatic fans, the Holy Terra Hooligans. Hooligans threw rocks at New Ork players, knocking Black Orc Gruum Endoom out. Down to one Black Orc, Holy Terra pushed en masse towards the Orc endzone. Quickly, the ball was flitted into the endzone and caught by pitcher "Icemand" Ingwald, and Holy Terra had its first lead of the game.

The lead was shortlived, though. New Ork punched the ball up the center of the field with a cage of greenskins, surrounding new New Orker Luhkee Sefen. Once again, the score was tied, 2-2. Holy Terra took advantage of a riot by its Hooligan fans, which stunned or knocked out several New Ork players. Down several players, New Ork battled ferociously for the ball...on its side of the pitch. Unfortunately, dropped handoffs and fumbled pass attempts by New Ork led to Holy Terra's ball recovery. Into the endzone went "Grim Reaper" Granger...again. Holy Terra once again had a lead, 3-2.

The last minutes of the game were a mad scramble for the endzone by New Ork. The ball had been hurled towards the endzone by blitzer Snotz M'kfawlee. Dropped by lineorc Wan Eye, humans pounced on Wan Eye and the ball. Holy Terra threw the ball from the endzone, but Black Ork Gruum Endoom made a miraculous interception. Gruum Endoom darted out of the Holy Terra tackle zone and threw the ball downfield. It was far enough. It was accurate enough. It was dropped. Bouncing away from the orcs, the game ended, and Holy Terra had upset the league-leading New Ork Skullcrushaz.

It was an amazing victory for Holy Terra. Despite the 3-2 win, New Ork killed Holy Terra lineman "Blade" Burr. New Ork players simply stood around, too stupid to understand what had happened. Eventually, the team beat lineorc Wan Eye into oblivion for the drops in the endzone. R.I.P. Wan Eye.

The Bloody Vikings! and Disembowlers' game was somewhat more orderly. Throughout the first half, both teams ignored the ball, beating each other as viciously as they could. The Disembowlers' minotaur Smash got the better of the norsemen, beating, breaking and busting the Vikings across the pitch.

The second half went differently. The Disembowlers pushed the ball down the field, and the uniquely agile hobgoblin Thudd rumbled into the endzone. Despite the Vikings' great blocking skills, minotaur Smash made all the difference. As the Bloody Vikings' received the kickoff, Smash went to work. The Vikings tried to go around, but chaos dwarfs and Smash caught them. The Vikings tried to go up the middle, but the Disembowlers were waiting there, too. The Vikings tried to hang back, but Smash and the Disembowlers plowed their way into the Vikings' line. The Vikings made no progress and eventually lost control of the ball to the Disembowlers. The Disembowlers sat on the ball, having Smash beat up Vikings for the remainder of the match.

The clock ticked to all zeroes, and the Disembowlers took the game with the only score of the game, 1 - 0. There wasn't much good to report for the Bloody Vikings! The Disembowlers' minotaur, Smash, continued to rack up accolades with his incredible play. At the rate that Smash continues to grow as a player, he may become a Bloodlust Football League Legend within the next three games. Will the wear and tear slow him down? Stay tuned for more Bloodlust Football League action!

Munchers & Vikings Rumble!

U watchin' BLF...uh...BFL Live.  This Ditka.  Kill Woghart kids.  Cave troll set free.  Bollocks up Wizurdcast.  Ditka kill you kids.  Ditka kill U!  Hi litez now.  Roll hi litez er Ditka smash!

Okay...thanks, Coach Ditka.  This is Boomer Berman.  It was perfect weather for the Warpstone Munchers and Bloody Vikings! game, but as Coach Ditka alluded, the students at the Wogharts School of Magic accidentally released a cave troll before the game.  Poor Nehemiah the Strained Thought, our wizardcaster for today's game, passed out during the cave troll's rampage.  Thus, we lost the transmission of the first half of the game.  Thankfully, poor Nehemiah awoke in time for the second half.  Let's pick up there.

At the start of the second half, the Vikings led 1-0 and had controlled much of the first half.  The Vikings used their strength and superior blocking skills to knock the Munchers around.  Line rat Squint Brother #3 and thrower Snicker Snik were knocked out in the first half melee.  In the second half, the Vikings, as they have done all season, got sucked into a shoving match and lost sight of scoring.  As a result, the Munchers sped past the berserker Vikings and tied the game, 1-1.

On the ensuing kickoff, the Vikings pulled the ball back onto their half of the pitch.  The Vikings tried to establish a wall of bodies before pushing forward.  Unfortunately, the Munchers' Rat Ogre, Whiskers, went wild.  Crashing into the center of the Vikings' line, Whiskers threw Norse bodies left and right as he charged forward.  Following Whiskers, gutter runners Sneaker Sneak and Skitter Skat chased down the bouncing ball.  With each Whiskers' punch, Vikings hit the pitch, sending the ball flying.  Evetually, the ball landed in Skitter Skat's paws.  Skat scurried into the endzone for the game winning touchdown.  

With little time left on the clock, the Vikings could not convert.  That's your final score, BFL fans, Munchers 2 and Vikings 1.  The Munchers roll on towards the playoffs.  Next up for the Munchers: the newest BFL team, the Disembowlers---but after the Bloody Vikings! have played the Disembowlers.  Back to Coach Ditka.

Snort....zzzzzzzzzzz.....snort....zzzz....

Disembowlers Destroy Warriors in Introduction

Welcome back, BFL fans. This is Booyah Scott, and this...is...B..F..L..Live. Booyah! The Bloodlust Football League continues to expand as many teams hit the midway point in the Winter 2008 season. This week debuted the Chaos Dwarf team, Disembowlers, coached by the enigmatic El Warpo. For a new team, the Disembowlers wasted no time gutting their opponent, the veteran Holy Terra Warriors. In typical Warrior fashion, there wasn't much defense, and the Disembowlers romped, 3-1. Let's catch up with some highlights. Booyah!

The Disembowlers' minotaur, Smash, anchored the center of the line of scrimmage most of the game. From the kickoff forward, Smash pounded his way through the Warriors' line. Bellowing a blood curtling beserker rage, many Warriors' fans, often vociferously angry, pissed their breeches---Good thing H.T.W. Stadium recently installed a urine trough that runs in front of the bleacher seats for collective relief. Booyah!

No one from Holy Terra had a chance. Holy Terra bodies went flying towards Willy and Nilly, the H.T.W. Stadium medical team. Willy and Nilly could not keep up with the number of human casualties, and by the end of the first half, two Warriors---Blade and Undertaker Ullther---were out of the game. Unfortunately for the Warriors, their blows bounced off of the the resilient minotaur and dwarven hides.

With knock outs and game ending injuries starting to mount, the Disembowlers' hobgoblin, Twinkle Toes, carried the ball into the endzone for a touchdown. Still resolved to fight, the Warriors lined up in their patented "I formation". Sprinting down the sideline, blitzers and blockers cleared the way for catcher Crazy Legs to bolt into the endzone. Clearly, the humans' speed could counter the Disembowlers' power. But Holy Terra did not press this advantage.

In the second half, Holy Terra tried desperately to lob the ball downfield to players often surrounded by Disembowlers. The Disembowlers' defense played like flies on minotaur poop---which reminds me: [Today's BFL Live! sponsor is Gorgon, natural minotaur fertilizer. Don't plant your wolfsbane gardens without it! That's Gorgon!]

Every Warrior pass went awry as the Disembowlers smashed Holy Terra to the pitch and into the stands, where they were promptly beaten up by unhappy Holy Terra Hooligans. With no Warriors back on D, Disembowlers' hobgoblins, Swifty and Thudd, each rumbled and stumbled into the endzone for the score. Booyah!

Once again, a lack of physicality and playing to the opponent's strength doomed Holy Terra. For the Disembowlers, welcome to the BFL, and congratulations on the first win. Next up, the Disembowlers have a tough match with the Bloody Vikings!, and the Holy Terra Warriors play their second match of the season with the New Ork Skullcrushaz. For now, this is Booyah Scott for BFL Live! See you soon. Booyah!

New Ork Roughs Up Holy Terra

It was a beautiful Saturday for football, but the Holy Terra Warriors saw the ugly side of the New Ork Skullcrushaz. New Ork, without two players after their last game with Chaos Chris, knocked six Warriors out of the game. Two Warriors won't be back for the next game. Another three Warriors were unconscious for varying lengths of the game. Without players and unable to control the line of scrimmage, New Ork pounded the ball into the endzone three times, winning 3 - 1. A crowd of 21000 were on hand at H.T.W. Stadium for the game, and let's check today's highlights.

Holy Terra takes the first kickoff and drives the ball up the left sideline. One of the Warriors catchers takes a short pass and pushes the ball to within two meters from the New Ork goal line. Orc thrower Flenger Faar, in for the injured blitzer Mawrio Killenums and playing back on defense, makes the TD saving block. The ball squirts towards Warriors blitzer Grimwulf "Grim Reaper" Granger, who promptly scoops up the ball. Granger darts between Faar and another Orc linemen and scored the first touchdown of the game. Unfortunately for Holy Terra, they aren't known for defense, and New Ork owns rest of the game.

On the ensuing kickoff, the Skullcrushaz roll their blitzers and Black Orc towards the right sideline. Using their superior strength and blocking skills, New Ork put nearly all of the Warriors onto the pitch. New Orc blitzer Luhkee Sefen rumbled down the sideline. The entire Warriors team had stuffed the line of scrimmage. In a last ditch effort to defend the endzone, a Warriors lineman blitzes Sefen. With a massive, spiked forearm shiver, Sefen stonewalls the human lineman. With nothing but endzone ahead, Sefen trots into the endzone and knots the game at 1 - 1.

Time expires on the first half as Holy Terra cannot force New Ork off the line of scrimmage. The second half begins with Holy Terra kicking to New Ork. Fans' frustration spills onto the field, and a mob slips over the wall and onto the pitch. Brandishing signs saying 'Holy Terra Hooligans', several Skullcrushaz are assaulted by the angry human fans. Four New Ork players are stunned by fan bum rush of the field. Once the mob is cleared from the field, play resumes, mostly with New Ork's player recovering from myriad blows to their heads.

The Warriors spread thin across the line of scrimmage, and New Ork takes advantage of the tactical mistake. Matched up one on one, the orcs pummel the humans. Creating another convoy of blitzers, Snotz M'kFawlee stomps into the endzone untouched. M'kfawlee begins the taunt the Warriors, but all the Warriors could do was look on from the midfield turf, where they had been knocked.

New Ork kicks off to Holy Terra, and again, Holy Terra tries to slip a single speedster along the right sideline towards the endzone. Sefen blasts the Warrior ballcarrier into the crowd, and the furious crowd promptly beats up the Warrior. The ball bounces into Sefen's lime mits, and he pumps the ball downfield. Lineorc Grunt, who had been racing downfield, hauls in the accurate pass. Grunt turns to the endzone. No Warrior is even close to the plodding Orc, and he huffs and puffs his way into the endzone.

The fat lady, Matilda Bellows, begins singing "So Long and Thanks for the Gold", the Warriors' postgame theme. Unfortunately, the game has not yet ended, but with another Warrior turnover, New Ork takes over. New Ork wins 3 - 1, their third straight win.

The game ends, and Holy Terra's inept defense does in a team that has speed and offensive playmakers. Holy Terra played to New Ork's strengths, and New Ork punished them...physically and on the scoreboard. Holy Terra continues to struggle and slips to 1 - 0 - 4. The path to the Bloodlust Cup is not going to get any easier for Holy Terra. The Holy Terra coach, Alton, said that his team needs power and physicality and are looking for an Ogre to sign as a free agent.

For New Ork, they control their destiny as they hit the midway point in the season. With four wins, two ties and no losses, the Skullcrushaz are cruising towards the playoffs. Also, New Ork has its full roster for the next game. Woe to the Skullcrushaz next opponent. See you next week, Bloodlust Football fans!

Blood In The Bowl

Welcome, BFL fans. This is Booyah Scott, and this...is...B...F...L...Live. Booyah! We had the bloodiest game of the season last night. Newcomer Chaos Chris battled veteran New Ork Skullcrushaz, and the Skullcrushaz prevailed 1 - 0...again.

Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to our Great Doom Khorne, was in the house for tonight's game. A crowd of 23000 assembled for this Tuesday night beatdown. Let's check it out...Booyah!

New Ork gets the ball first. Before the touchback, a Skullcrushaz fan threw a rock and hit Chaos Warrior "C". Black Orc Gluum Endoom helped himself to a good foot stomping on C's head. Ouch....Endoom's hobnailed boots puncture C's helmet, nostrils, retina, earlobes, teeth, gums, skull and brains. In short, C's dead....Booyah. The ref caught Endoom, though, and he...is...outta...here. The Commish is clearly loving this opening. He's slapping his throne, bellowing, "May vultures feed upon his entrails. Praise, Khorne."

The loss of C hurts Chaos Chris. They're without Beastman "F", who was seriously injured in the last game with the Holy Terra Warriors. Down to nine players, Chaos Chris is going to have to even the field...and they do. Chaos Chris blasts Endoom's twin, Gruum Endoom, and Troll, Ort Rotgaggle. Gruum Endoom's knee explodes, and he is out. Rotgaggle hits the dirt, and at one point, four Chaos players are laying the beatdown on him, but not breaking through his toughened skin. Unbelievable!

Despite the massive beatdown that they're receiving, New Ork inches the ball closer and closer to the Chris endzone. On his last actions of the half, Ork linemen Hrumph dodges between two Beastmen, grabs the ball and delivers an accurate quick pass. Both Beastmen missed the easy interceptions, but blitzer Mawrio Killenums...drops the ball! Unbelievable! The half is over, and it is scoreless...But the blood and cartilage is everywhere. Booyah!

The second half is also a bloody mess, but New Ork starts to get the breaks. Without both Black Orcs, thrower Flenger Faar makes his return to the New Ork lineup. New Orks creates a steamrolling wall of blitzers, heading down the right sideline. Chaos Chris continue to stick it to New Ork, but New Ork starts to stand their ground. Chaos Chris start getting what they're giving. Beastman "K" is knocked out on a blitz, and out of luck, New Ork capitalizes. New Ork's best blitzer, Thum Upsnoz, breaks through the pack to grab the ball and take off for the unguarded Chaos endzone. A Beastman is in hot pursuit....blitzing...bumbling...stumbling...and...down. Booyah! Upsnoz trots into the endzone with just a few minutes left in the game. Chaos Chris can't control the ensuing kickoff, and New Ork go on the defensive, hitting Chaos Chris with everything they have left. Nothing left to show here, except more shots from your Commish: "This world remains drab and dreary. There should have been more players killed. Praise Khorne."

That's your final score, BFL fans. 1 - 0 Skullcrushaz. The Skullcrushaz are hurting, and next game, they're without Mawrio Killenums and Gruum Endoom. Both sustained smashed knees, and star Thum Upsnoz picked up a niggling injury. New Ork needs some time off, but they're not going to get it. Next up: a hungry Holy Terra Warriors. Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to Our Great Doom Khorne, uttered about the New Ork schedule: "May they die long and painfully. Praise Khorne." As for Chaos Chris: welcome to the BFL.

This is Booyah Scott. See you next time, BFL fans! Booyah!

New Ork & Vikings Grind It Out

Welcome...hiss...BFL fans. This...hiss...is...Howwurd...hiss...Cozell. Tonight, the New Ork Skullcrushaz...hiss...faced the Bloody Vikings! New Ork played great defense and ground out a 1 - 0 win...hiss.

The Bloody Vikings! tried to get physical with the Orcs, but Orc armor was too strong.  Blow after blow bounced off the Orc hides.  The Vikings' inability to break through the Orc armor sent them into frenzy.  In their berserker rage, the Norsemen forgot that the Skullcrushaz blitzers were screaming down the sidelines with the ball....literally.  The Vikings concentrated every action attacking New Ork's newest addition, Ort Rotgaggle---the renowned Troll from Cleave Land.  Rotgaggle...hiss...is an attention monger....But that's why he was hired...hiss.

Interestingly, New Ork's bruisers failed to blacken the Vikings' players, too, but instead of frustration, the Orcs, led by blitzer Snotz M'kfawlee, carried the ball into the endzone.  When asked how the Orcs played so...smart...Snotz replied, "Grog ale."  Drunken Orcs...hiss.

The rest of the first half resulted in a scrum...hiss.  New Ork played great D.  Instead of letting the Vikings have open running room, the Orcs closed in and went toe to toe.  The ball bounced across the center of the pitch multiple times, but neither side could control it.  The first half ended rather uneventfully.

The second half went nowhere.  The Vikings received the ball first, but a scrum clogged the line of scrimmage.  With nowhere to run, but plenty of players to hit, the ball was dropped, and the Norsemen began swinging.  Still, neither side could dent the others' defenses.  New Ork forced the ball back into Vikings' territory, but to no avail.  The game ended as blandly as the first half.  Few injuries and no scoring.

New Ork fans are getting used to low scoring games...hiss, but Vikings fans are frustrated that their Norsemen have not won a game.  The Vikings' next game is against the fleet Warpstone Munchers.  If they don't go berserk, the Vikings have a good chance for their first win...hiss.

That's all...hiss..from here.  This is...hiss...Howwurd Cozell.  See you next time....hiss....BFL fans.

Chaos Chris Claims Conquest

Welcome Bloodlust fans to the BFL postgame show.  This is Bri'k Mouseberg'r.  Tonight marked the first appearance of the popular Chaos Cup Champion, the Chaos Chris, in the Bloodlust Football League.  The Chaos Chris team lacked the experience of the Holy Terra Warriors.  That, however, didn't stop Chaos Chris from winning 2 - 0.

Details from the game are spotty.  An errant electical storm created by the students at the Woghart's School of Sorcery fried our broadcaster for tonight's game.  Poor Nehemiah the Strained Thought was prepared to begin broadcast of the game through his Orb of Televising when he was hit by lightning.  Nehemiah was reduced to a quivering fool, yelling "Blue, you're my boy" repeatedly.  Thus, most of our wizard cast was lost to our viewing public...but let's jump into the highlights of the best attended game of the season---28000 fans. 

The game was physical from the outset, and surprisingly, the Holy Terra Warriors held their own with the Chaos team.  The Holy Terra Warriors coaches stacked the line of scrimmage on every kickoff.  The Chaos Chris concentrated during the first half on pounding their human opponents.  The Warriors' strategy worked against themselves as Warriors players hit the dirt.  The Chaos slugfest opened a gaping hole in the line of scrimmage.  With no one to stop him, Chaos Warrior "C" carried the ball into the endzone with moments left on the first half clock.  The Chaos Chris score was helped by the Warriors pulling players from defense and sending them down the field, hoping for a miraculous recovery and heave to the endzone.  Neither occurred, and some human fans rained boos onto the pitch.

The second half did not go much better for the Holy Terra Warriors.  They lost control of the ball after a myriad of blitzes and double teams by the Chaos Chris.  With the ball in hand, Beastman "J" sprinted to the endzone.  In the one shining moment for the Warriors, new blitzer Uther Ullrich maimed Beastman "F".  Beastman "F" won't be present for the Chaos Chris's next game as he recovers.

The BFL's newest and most popular team, the Chaos Chris, made a thunderous introductory appearance.  Time will tell whether the former Chaos Cup champions can climb through the Bloodlust League.  The Chaos Chris have a stern second test, facing off against New Ork.  For the Warriors, they continue to search for a winning combination after suffering their third loss of the season.  Thankfully, human fans are resilient and continue to stick with the Warriors.  Like Chaos Chris, the Holy Terra Warriors' next game is against New Ork.

Well, that's all from here, BFL fans.  Stay tuned for BFL Live; we'll be checking on the recovery of Poor Nehemiah the Strained Thought.  This is Bri'k Mouseberg'r.  Goodbye, folks.

Libertines Pick Up First Win

Hello, BFL fans. This is Bri'k Mouseberger, reporting from the Holy Terra Warriors' locker room. Tonight, the Slaaneshi Libertines overpowered the Holy Terra Warriors by a score of 3 - 2. A nameless Beastman---we will simply call him Mutie because of his newly grown tentacle---scored all three of the Libertines' TD's.

It was a beautiful night at the H.T.W. Stadium. The Libertines drove the ball in for a 1 - 0 lead early in the first half. Then the Warriors unleashed a barrage of offense. The Warriors' Blitzer Granger Grimwulf trotted into the endzone on the first score, and the second score came through the air to "Crazy Legs" Cole. Unfortunately, the wear from the Libertines' bruising Chaos Warriors slowed them down in the second half.

The second half was all Slaaneshi, and Beastman Mutie pounded the ball into the Warriors' endzone twice. The Libertines benefited from crowd participation as several sideline throw-ins bounced the Libertines' way. Kickoffs also gave the Libertines a leg up as they pushed into the Warriors' side of the pitch.

The game ended in exciting fashion, though. A scrum in the final minutes resulted in the Warriors getting the ball. Thrower Ian "Iceman" Ingwald hurled a long bomb down field to a waiting "Assassin" Ackhart. The pass was long enough; it was accurate enough; it was....dropped by the human Blitzer. Ackhart was unblocked to the endzone. If he had caught it, the Warriors would have salvaged a tie, but that did not happen.

The Slaaneshi Libertines pick up their first win of the season. The Warriors pick up their second loss of the season, and bookies picked up heavy bags of gold as many bets failed to guess the correct spread. The Warriors had been favored in this contest, and the Chaos team had been given inducements to play.

No matter. It was another lively contest in the the BFL. Keep your Wizard Ears tuned in next week for the Holy Terra Warriors versus the all-new Chaos Chris and the New Ork Skullcrushaz versus the Bloody Vikings! Broadcasts are subject to local black out. This is Bri'k Mouseberger for BFL Live! So long, everybody.

Munchers/Gimpee Limbz Match Ends with Boo's

This is Howwurd Cozell....siss...reporting for the Draco-Lizardman Times. The crowd of 21,000 boo'ed tonight's teams from the field. The Warpstone Munchers and the New Ork Gimpee Limbz...siss...played to a 1 - 1 tie in torrential downpours that soaked the field and caused flooding that delayed the game for several hours during the second half. Hiss. The crowd demanded no excuses, though. One anonymous vampire...siss...fan said, "I vanted keeling...lots an lots uv keeling. Blood. More Blood. Ah ah ha."

The Skaven Munchers took the opening drive in the first half and advanced the ball deep into Limbz territory. Hiss. The Orcs converged on the Skaven ball carriers, scattering them to claim the ball. In the pouring rain...siss...neither side could grab the bouncing ball. After breaking through the line of scrimmage, the Squint Brother line rats tackled the Orc blitzers, freeing runner Sneaker Sneak. Free to run, Sneak collected the ball and dove into the endzone. Hiss...giving the Munchers the 1 - 0 lead.

The Orcs were unable to move the ball during the remainder of the half...hiss. The Limbz chose to beat the Munchers as ferociously as possible. Several Skaven were carried from the field before the half. At the half, the Limbz were seen celebrating the numerous casualties that they had inflicted. Hiss.

When asked about second half strategy, Black Orc Blocker Gruum Endoom exclaimed, "Smash dem. Smash dem good." Upon receiving the ball during the second half kickoff, the Orcs tried to advance the ball up the right side. They were immediately met by skitter skattering Skaven. Despite the rain, the Orcs attempted to pass the ball to the middle of the field. The pass attempt...siss...was broken up. The ball went bounding towards the left sideline and Skaven blitzers. Black Orc Gluum Endoom, line orc Krag Bonez and blitzer Mawrio Killenums charged into the Muncher bunch. Hiss. The ball popped loose, and for several minutes...siss...it bounced between several players that could not grab it. Finally, the Limbz beat down the Muncher playes, and line orc Krag Bonez picked up the ball, charging for the goal line. Waagh went for the endzone and...siss...made it. Touchdown Limbz. 1 - 1.

There were only a few minutes left in the game, but the referee called the game due to heavy flooding. This gave both teams time....hiss...to try to recover their injured and unconscious players. After the rain let up, the Limbz kicked off to the Munchers. The Munchers grabbed the ball and moved down the left side of the field. On the Munchers' pass attempt, the Gutter Runner receiver dropped the ball. It bounced towards the Munchers' endzone. The Limbz formed a gigantic wall at the line of scrimmage...siss. The Limbz clearly wanted several pounds of rat flesh. To no avail, both blocker and blocked hit the pitch. The Munchers returned the favor, doing the same. The rain and mud so fatigued both teams....hiss...that both team collapsed in the mud.

Both teams trudged from the pitch, tied 1 - 1 for the game. Fans booing could be heard...hiss...as far as Heighgart. Will fan backlash result in less turnout for each team? The Limbz have already taken a hit from lost ticket sales...siss...because of their last tie to the Slaaneshi Libertines. Both the Limbz and the Munchers may lose gold because of the ending for this game.....Hiss.

This is Howwurd Cozell....hiss...reporting from New Ork. Hiss. Stay tuned for more...siss....BFL coverage. Hiss.

Norse Go South in Loss to Warriors

Hello, BFL fans. Booyah Scott with all of your Bloodlust Live highlights. Tonight's match...the Bloody Vikings! versus the Holy Terra Warriors. Booyah! The Bloody Vikings! were supposed to deliver killing blows to the Holy Terra Warriors, but the Warriors met every blow and returned them in equal measure. The Vikings could not move the ball on all but one of their drives, and this inability led to the human Warriors winning this Tuesday night match, 2 - 1. Let's check the highlights after a word from our sponsor. Booyah!

[Commercial]

John: Why can't I get a clear picture of the Bloodlust Bowl?

Frank: Have you tried Wizard Ears?

John: What's that?

Frank: Wizard Ears is the newest in magick communications. Simply attach both Wizard Ears to your CBS (crystal ball of seeing), and voila! The latest broadcast from the seers at Bloodlust Football Network comes in clear as day. What's better? You get a certificate of authenticity with the name of the Wizard, who gave his ears to help you see the next game better.

John: Wow! Thanks, Wizard Ears, now I can watch the game like I was there.

[Both turn and give thumbs up to screen.]

[/Commercial]

The Warriors came out with an interesting strategy. On every play, regardless whether on offense or defense, the Warriors stacked the line of scrimmage. Nearly every player except the team's thrower lined up on the midway pitch line. The Vikings staggered their players, keeping several in reserve in case of a breakthrough at the line of scrimmage. Despite the Norse having a physical advantage over the humans, the Warriors used sheer numbers to overwhelm the Vikings. The Vikings capitalized on this "overwhelm the line" strategy during the first half by getting the ball downfield with a great pass from Bradshaw and tough running from Sven Palomalu and "Lucky" Dreizehn. The Norsemen took out the Warriors' lone opposition and powered the ball into the endzone. Booyah! Touchdown!

There were considerable groans from among the human fans in the crowd of 24,000. Of note, fans questioned why the Warriors sent three players downfield to receive when there was little chance for the Warriors to recover the ball and make the pass to them. The Warriors were outnumbered three to one on their side of the pitch, and the move left many scratching their heads. The Warriors' coach, Trott, stuck to his gameplan, and the Warriors owned the second half.

The Warriors took momentum early in the second half, passing the ball downfield and using the human catchers and blitzers' superior speed to outrun the Norsemen. The Warriors first score of the game was barely with effort. Booyah! Trott continued to exploit the Vikings' fatigue and slower footspeed. The Vikings were also hamstrung by three player ejections caused by the Norsemen attempting to kick Warriors when they were down. (The Vikings have had eight(!!!) players ejected over the course of two games.) Using their blocks selectively, the Warriors maneuvered down the right sideline for their second score. Similar to the first, the Warriors went into the endzone untouched. Meanwhile, Norse bodies were left laying at the line of scrimmage or in outmatched pursuit. Booyah!

In the waning moments of the game, the Warriors stole the ball from the Vikings and could have pushed in another touchdown. Booyah! Alas, Trott chose to sit on the ball and take the 2 - 1 victory. Vikings' coach Gavlak said after the game that, "we played better than our first game, but we've got to cause more injuries when we're the stronger team." Vikings' star, Sven Palomalu, ejected during the game, was visibly angry, severely beating several fans who berated his play. Both fans are believed dead. Booyah!

The win puts the Warriors into the W column. For the Vikings, they fall to 0-1-1 and are left with a sour taste in their mouths from being "out toughed". Booyah! Overall, a solid second game and a building block as the BFL continues its marathon to name its champion of the Bloodlust Cup. This is Booyah Scott for BFL Live! and the BFN. Booyah!

Vikings and Libertines Get Bloody in Tie

Thanks for joining us tonight for our first Tuesday Night Football broadcast, a 2 - 2 battle between the Norse and Chaos. Our sponsor for tonight's game between the Bloody Vikings! and the Slaaneshi Libertines is Visit the Great Norde. "Travel to the great white Norde." Also...Nordic Express. "Yes, we do hate Kapital Wan. They're NOT in our wallets!!! Nordic Express. Don't go pillaging without it!"

Hello, BFL fans. This is Bri'k Mouseberg'r. We're talking with Vikings coach Gavlak to get his thoughts on his team's first game against the bruising Slaaneshi Libertines.

BFL: Coach, what did you think about the early part of the game tonight?

Gavlak: At first, I thought that I was going to get butchered, but things went pretty smoothly. The Slaaneshi got to the infamous one foot line until one of my throwers, Bradshaw, pushed him into a section of Norde fans, which beat the crap out of his guy. Haar! Haar! The Libertine eventually scored, but then the following kickoff went out of bounds.

BFL: That must have looked like a great opportunity for the Vikings, right?

Gavlak: My best runner Sven Polamalu got a nice block from Hamm and ran away for a quick score to tie the game. After he quit screaming and beating his chest, I told him to celebrate with a tradtional Nordic leap into the Vikings fan section, making sure he did not get hurt by Nordic fans' warhammers. Unfortunately, we kicked off, and the Libertines made a score just before the first half cannon went off. 2 - 1 Libertines.

BFL: Were you worried to start the half? Chaos was moving the ball well.

Gavlak: Norsemen do not worry. We get angry. We got the ball in the second half and dropped it early deep in our territory. Chaos picked up the ball quickly, but with his one Chaos player against our four and his guys moving slow, we got the ball back quickly and moved it downfield, while distracting his men with pretty blow up dolls of cheerleaders. Beastmen are SO stupid.

Gavlak: Instead of going for a touchdown with my linemen "Lucky" Dreizehn, Dreizehn tried to handoff to Sven Polamalu; he dropped it. Seeing that the jig was up (and gone!) with the distraction, we [Vikings] had to do something. Sven Polamalu threw a hard foul resulting in the Vikings' fifth ejection. OUCH!

BFL: Five ejections!?! That must be a FBL record. The Libertines must have had some home cooking with the refs. What next?

Gavlak: Before Polamalu went out the game, he KILLED(!!!) the player he fouled and threw the corpse to the Bloody Vikings! fans. They feasted on and looted his corpse. Let our opponents' blood stain the stands! Remember, pillaging has no boundaries. We eventually scored to tie the game at 2 - 2, and that was the end result.

BFL: That's amazing. The BFL's first death of the season. Thoughts on the future Coach?

Gavlak: I have a new assistant coach, Bill "the Wise" Cowher and Helga's sexy twin sister, Hilda, as a cheerleader. Don't flirt with Hilda because Helga bashed the one guy that landed on her lap and took his wallet. She found Kapital Wan inside and promptly beat him to death with her mailed breasts. We added his petty cash to our team earnings, 20,000 gold. Haar! It's good to be a Bloody Viking!

BFL: Thanks, Coach, for the recap. This has been Bri'k Mouseberg'r for FBL. See you next week, Bloodlust fans!

Holy Terra! Munchers Outlast Warriors

The Warpstone Munchers skitter-skattered past the upstart Holy Terra Warriors during the opening weekend morning game. Both teams played tentatively, searching for weaknesses and hitting each other to cause weaknesses. In the end however, the Skaven outraced the Humans to the endzone en route to a 2 - 1 victory.

The tone of the game was set midway through the first half when the ball went bouncing throughout the Munchers half of the pitch. The Warriors' blitzers ran through the line of scrimmage to grab the ball and make a break for the endzone. No sooner than the ball was in hand, the Munchers swarmed over the humans. A general scrum ensued. Bodies went flying. The ball went bouncing, and eventually, the Munchers' "Fumbles" Snicker Snik darted out of the pile, launching the ball downfield. A great grab by Spittle Skank, and the Munchers were off to the races. By the time that the Warriors peered out of the body pile, the Munchers had scored.

The remainder of the half was scoreless, but the second half showed some excitement. The human Warriors used their brawn to force the ball down field. Tying up the Munchers on the lin of scrimmage, the Warriors ran the ball in with 1/3 of the game left. The Munchers were not to be outdone, though. Working together, the Skaven worked the ball downfield, running past the Warriors and lobbing the ball over head. With time expiring, the Munchers slid into the endzone to take a 2 - 1 lead. With only the kickoff left, the Warriors tried a few quick moves of their own, but found that the Munchers had tied their blitzers' shoelaces together. Down went the racer, and out came the ball. Turnover and game over.

Neither team exited the game with many injuries, and both teams did not live up to their potential. If one thing is for certain, the crowd of 24,000 left satisfied, but that may have been the result of several overzealous Trolls that began roasting the goblin vendors...literally...in their section. Next time, the Holy Terra Warriors and the Warpstone Munchers won't be as cautious...and then today's sprint will become a marathon!

Durtee Dawgz Gimped by New Ork

The New Ork Gimpee Limbz faced off against goblin-team, the Durtee Dawgz, on a beautiful, clean day that was marked by a lot of dirty play.  The Dawgz sustained few injuries, but multiple ejections during the opening weekend match.  The goblins wielded chain saws and lobbed bombs and each other across the pitch.  None of that mattered, though, because the Gimpee Limbz ran around and threw over their stunty, green opponents.

The Limbz powered the ball into the endzone on the ground for the first score of the game.  The Limbz scored again midway through the first half on a long pass from Limbz blitzer, Maawrio Killenums, to blitzer Thum Upsnoz.  Down 2 - 0, the Dawgs abandoned attempting to score to focus on inflicting as much pain as possible.  Unfortunately for the Dawgz, their bomb lobber's bombs either exploded before the toss or detonated near Dawgz players when the throws went errant.  The Dawgz also set their two trolls loose to little effect.  When asked about their poor performance, both trolls scratched their heads, picked their noses and replied, "Huh?"

During the second half, the Limbz pounded another TD onto the board on the ground.  Feeling the urgency to score, the Dawgz troll, Boogah Dreep, ignored his desire to eat his goblin teammates and hurled a teammate downfield.  After a miracle long bomb pass, the hurled goblin picked himself up, dusted himself off and rain into the endzone to score.  The scoring goblin player's name is unknown.  He was lost in a cloud of dust caused by his impact upon hitting the pitch.

The lightning quick score was the only highlight of the game for the Dawgz.  The Limbz put the ball into the endzone once more to tally the match's final score, 4 - 1.  Oddly, the orcs never inflicted a single serious injury.  On the sidelines, Black Orc Blitzers Gruum Endoom and Gluum Endoom sobbed a quiet "Waaagh" because of the lack of injuries caused.  For the rest of the New Ork team, it was the first win on the 2008 BFL season.