Welcome back, BFL fans. This is Booyah Scott, and this...is...B..F..L..Live. Booyah! The Bloodlust Football League continues to expand as many teams hit the midway point in the Winter 2008 season. This week debuted the Chaos Dwarf team, Disembowlers, coached by the enigmatic El Warpo. For a new team, the Disembowlers wasted no time gutting their opponent, the veteran Holy Terra Warriors. In typical Warrior fashion, there wasn't much defense, and the Disembowlers romped, 3-1. Let's catch up with some highlights. Booyah!
The Disembowlers' minotaur, Smash, anchored the center of the line of scrimmage most of the game. From the kickoff forward, Smash pounded his way through the Warriors' line. Bellowing a blood curtling beserker rage, many Warriors' fans, often vociferously angry, pissed their breeches---Good thing H.T.W. Stadium recently installed a urine trough that runs in front of the bleacher seats for collective relief. Booyah!
No one from Holy Terra had a chance. Holy Terra bodies went flying towards Willy and Nilly, the H.T.W. Stadium medical team. Willy and Nilly could not keep up with the number of human casualties, and by the end of the first half, two Warriors---Blade and Undertaker Ullther---were out of the game. Unfortunately for the Warriors, their blows bounced off of the the resilient minotaur and dwarven hides.
With knock outs and game ending injuries starting to mount, the Disembowlers' hobgoblin, Twinkle Toes, carried the ball into the endzone for a touchdown. Still resolved to fight, the Warriors lined up in their patented "I formation". Sprinting down the sideline, blitzers and blockers cleared the way for catcher Crazy Legs to bolt into the endzone. Clearly, the humans' speed could counter the Disembowlers' power. But Holy Terra did not press this advantage.
In the second half, Holy Terra tried desperately to lob the ball downfield to players often surrounded by Disembowlers. The Disembowlers' defense played like flies on minotaur poop---which reminds me: [Today's BFL Live! sponsor is Gorgon, natural minotaur fertilizer. Don't plant your wolfsbane gardens without it! That's Gorgon!]
Every Warrior pass went awry as the Disembowlers smashed Holy Terra to the pitch and into the stands, where they were promptly beaten up by unhappy Holy Terra Hooligans. With no Warriors back on D, Disembowlers' hobgoblins, Swifty and Thudd, each rumbled and stumbled into the endzone for the score. Booyah!
Once again, a lack of physicality and playing to the opponent's strength doomed Holy Terra. For the Disembowlers, welcome to the BFL, and congratulations on the first win. Next up, the Disembowlers have a tough match with the Bloody Vikings!, and the Holy Terra Warriors play their second match of the season with the New Ork Skullcrushaz. For now, this is Booyah Scott for BFL Live! See you soon. Booyah!
