Saturday was frought with peril for BFL's wizardcaster Nehemiah the Strained Thought. The BFL covered two games simultaneously: Bloody Vikings! vs. Disembowlers and Holy Terra Warriors vs. New Ork Skullcrushaz. This required that Nehemiah be teleported between each game repeatedly by the witch sisters Foxe and Abbye. Unfortunately, Nehemiah disappeared into the aether on a return trip to the Disembowlers' stadium. Apparently, Abbye became distracted by particularly gruesome decapitation by Disembowler minotaur Smash and failed to reel Nehemiah out of the teleport. If you would like to join the BFL's wizardcast team, please contact Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to Our Great Doom Khorne. On to the games highlights...
For New Ork, things started well, but ended poorly. The Skullcrushaz and Warriors' game was a rematch from two weeks ago, a controversial game where Warriors' fans rioted twice and invaded the pitch. New Ork took the opening kickoff and drove the ball down the field for a quick touchdown. Holy Terra played a weak defense, close to the line of scrimmage, and this hurt them early.
Things quickly turned in Holy Terra's favor. On the next kickoff, Holy Terra pushed the ball into to the Skullcrushaz half of the pitch. The Warriors exploded out of their patented "I" formation, using catchers and blitzers to take the lead. This invasion was not met in force because the Warrior's newest player, Ogre "Big Head" Todd, distracted much of New Ork's linemen. Unfortunately, "Big Head" failed to actively earn that recognition, mostly falling flat on his back or standing idly, flinging boogers. The Orcs failed to flatten the fastest humans especially uber-Warrior, Blitzer "Grim Reaper" Granger, with their back-positioned blitzers. Granger evaded New Ork tackle zones and darted through the melees to pick up the bouncing ball. Unable to keep Granger down, the human blitzer scooted into the endzone to tie the game, 1-1. The first half ended with New Ork's players bobbling the ball around the pitch.
Holy Terra received the ball to begin the second half and picked up where they left off. So did the Warriors' lunatic fans, the Holy Terra Hooligans. Hooligans threw rocks at New Ork players, knocking Black Orc Gruum Endoom out. Down to one Black Orc, Holy Terra pushed en masse towards the Orc endzone. Quickly, the ball was flitted into the endzone and caught by pitcher "Icemand" Ingwald, and Holy Terra had its first lead of the game.
The lead was shortlived, though. New Ork punched the ball up the center of the field with a cage of greenskins, surrounding new New Orker Luhkee Sefen. Once again, the score was tied, 2-2. Holy Terra took advantage of a riot by its Hooligan fans, which stunned or knocked out several New Ork players. Down several players, New Ork battled ferociously for the ball...on its side of the pitch. Unfortunately, dropped handoffs and fumbled pass attempts by New Ork led to Holy Terra's ball recovery. Into the endzone went "Grim Reaper" Granger...again. Holy Terra once again had a lead, 3-2.
The last minutes of the game were a mad scramble for the endzone by New Ork. The ball had been hurled towards the endzone by blitzer Snotz M'kfawlee. Dropped by lineorc Wan Eye, humans pounced on Wan Eye and the ball. Holy Terra threw the ball from the endzone, but Black Ork Gruum Endoom made a miraculous interception. Gruum Endoom darted out of the Holy Terra tackle zone and threw the ball downfield. It was far enough. It was accurate enough. It was dropped. Bouncing away from the orcs, the game ended, and Holy Terra had upset the league-leading New Ork Skullcrushaz.
It was an amazing victory for Holy Terra. Despite the 3-2 win, New Ork killed Holy Terra lineman "Blade" Burr. New Ork players simply stood around, too stupid to understand what had happened. Eventually, the team beat lineorc Wan Eye into oblivion for the drops in the endzone. R.I.P. Wan Eye.
The Bloody Vikings! and Disembowlers' game was somewhat more orderly. Throughout the first half, both teams ignored the ball, beating each other as viciously as they could. The Disembowlers' minotaur Smash got the better of the norsemen, beating, breaking and busting the Vikings across the pitch.
The second half went differently. The Disembowlers pushed the ball down the field, and the uniquely agile hobgoblin Thudd rumbled into the endzone. Despite the Vikings' great blocking skills, minotaur Smash made all the difference. As the Bloody Vikings' received the kickoff, Smash went to work. The Vikings tried to go around, but chaos dwarfs and Smash caught them. The Vikings tried to go up the middle, but the Disembowlers were waiting there, too. The Vikings tried to hang back, but Smash and the Disembowlers plowed their way into the Vikings' line. The Vikings made no progress and eventually lost control of the ball to the Disembowlers. The Disembowlers sat on the ball, having Smash beat up Vikings for the remainder of the match.
The clock ticked to all zeroes, and the Disembowlers took the game with the only score of the game, 1 - 0. There wasn't much good to report for the Bloody Vikings! The Disembowlers' minotaur, Smash, continued to rack up accolades with his incredible play. At the rate that Smash continues to grow as a player, he may become a Bloodlust Football League Legend within the next three games. Will the wear and tear slow him down? Stay tuned for more Bloodlust Football League action!
The last minutes of the game were a mad scramble for the endzone by New Ork. The ball had been hurled towards the endzone by blitzer Snotz M'kfawlee. Dropped by lineorc Wan Eye, humans pounced on Wan Eye and the ball. Holy Terra threw the ball from the endzone, but Black Ork Gruum Endoom made a miraculous interception. Gruum Endoom darted out of the Holy Terra tackle zone and threw the ball downfield. It was far enough. It was accurate enough. It was dropped. Bouncing away from the orcs, the game ended, and Holy Terra had upset the league-leading New Ork Skullcrushaz.
It was an amazing victory for Holy Terra. Despite the 3-2 win, New Ork killed Holy Terra lineman "Blade" Burr. New Ork players simply stood around, too stupid to understand what had happened. Eventually, the team beat lineorc Wan Eye into oblivion for the drops in the endzone. R.I.P. Wan Eye.
The Bloody Vikings! and Disembowlers' game was somewhat more orderly. Throughout the first half, both teams ignored the ball, beating each other as viciously as they could. The Disembowlers' minotaur Smash got the better of the norsemen, beating, breaking and busting the Vikings across the pitch.
The second half went differently. The Disembowlers pushed the ball down the field, and the uniquely agile hobgoblin Thudd rumbled into the endzone. Despite the Vikings' great blocking skills, minotaur Smash made all the difference. As the Bloody Vikings' received the kickoff, Smash went to work. The Vikings tried to go around, but chaos dwarfs and Smash caught them. The Vikings tried to go up the middle, but the Disembowlers were waiting there, too. The Vikings tried to hang back, but Smash and the Disembowlers plowed their way into the Vikings' line. The Vikings made no progress and eventually lost control of the ball to the Disembowlers. The Disembowlers sat on the ball, having Smash beat up Vikings for the remainder of the match.
The clock ticked to all zeroes, and the Disembowlers took the game with the only score of the game, 1 - 0. There wasn't much good to report for the Bloody Vikings! The Disembowlers' minotaur, Smash, continued to rack up accolades with his incredible play. At the rate that Smash continues to grow as a player, he may become a Bloodlust Football League Legend within the next three games. Will the wear and tear slow him down? Stay tuned for more Bloodlust Football League action!
