New Ork Roughs Up Holy Terra

It was a beautiful Saturday for football, but the Holy Terra Warriors saw the ugly side of the New Ork Skullcrushaz. New Ork, without two players after their last game with Chaos Chris, knocked six Warriors out of the game. Two Warriors won't be back for the next game. Another three Warriors were unconscious for varying lengths of the game. Without players and unable to control the line of scrimmage, New Ork pounded the ball into the endzone three times, winning 3 - 1. A crowd of 21000 were on hand at H.T.W. Stadium for the game, and let's check today's highlights.

Holy Terra takes the first kickoff and drives the ball up the left sideline. One of the Warriors catchers takes a short pass and pushes the ball to within two meters from the New Ork goal line. Orc thrower Flenger Faar, in for the injured blitzer Mawrio Killenums and playing back on defense, makes the TD saving block. The ball squirts towards Warriors blitzer Grimwulf "Grim Reaper" Granger, who promptly scoops up the ball. Granger darts between Faar and another Orc linemen and scored the first touchdown of the game. Unfortunately for Holy Terra, they aren't known for defense, and New Ork owns rest of the game.

On the ensuing kickoff, the Skullcrushaz roll their blitzers and Black Orc towards the right sideline. Using their superior strength and blocking skills, New Ork put nearly all of the Warriors onto the pitch. New Orc blitzer Luhkee Sefen rumbled down the sideline. The entire Warriors team had stuffed the line of scrimmage. In a last ditch effort to defend the endzone, a Warriors lineman blitzes Sefen. With a massive, spiked forearm shiver, Sefen stonewalls the human lineman. With nothing but endzone ahead, Sefen trots into the endzone and knots the game at 1 - 1.

Time expires on the first half as Holy Terra cannot force New Ork off the line of scrimmage. The second half begins with Holy Terra kicking to New Ork. Fans' frustration spills onto the field, and a mob slips over the wall and onto the pitch. Brandishing signs saying 'Holy Terra Hooligans', several Skullcrushaz are assaulted by the angry human fans. Four New Ork players are stunned by fan bum rush of the field. Once the mob is cleared from the field, play resumes, mostly with New Ork's player recovering from myriad blows to their heads.

The Warriors spread thin across the line of scrimmage, and New Ork takes advantage of the tactical mistake. Matched up one on one, the orcs pummel the humans. Creating another convoy of blitzers, Snotz M'kFawlee stomps into the endzone untouched. M'kfawlee begins the taunt the Warriors, but all the Warriors could do was look on from the midfield turf, where they had been knocked.

New Ork kicks off to Holy Terra, and again, Holy Terra tries to slip a single speedster along the right sideline towards the endzone. Sefen blasts the Warrior ballcarrier into the crowd, and the furious crowd promptly beats up the Warrior. The ball bounces into Sefen's lime mits, and he pumps the ball downfield. Lineorc Grunt, who had been racing downfield, hauls in the accurate pass. Grunt turns to the endzone. No Warrior is even close to the plodding Orc, and he huffs and puffs his way into the endzone.

The fat lady, Matilda Bellows, begins singing "So Long and Thanks for the Gold", the Warriors' postgame theme. Unfortunately, the game has not yet ended, but with another Warrior turnover, New Ork takes over. New Ork wins 3 - 1, their third straight win.

The game ends, and Holy Terra's inept defense does in a team that has speed and offensive playmakers. Holy Terra played to New Ork's strengths, and New Ork punished them...physically and on the scoreboard. Holy Terra continues to struggle and slips to 1 - 0 - 4. The path to the Bloodlust Cup is not going to get any easier for Holy Terra. The Holy Terra coach, Alton, said that his team needs power and physicality and are looking for an Ogre to sign as a free agent.

For New Ork, they control their destiny as they hit the midway point in the season. With four wins, two ties and no losses, the Skullcrushaz are cruising towards the playoffs. Also, New Ork has its full roster for the next game. Woe to the Skullcrushaz next opponent. See you next week, Bloodlust Football fans!

Blood In The Bowl

Welcome, BFL fans. This is Booyah Scott, and this...is...B...F...L...Live. Booyah! We had the bloodiest game of the season last night. Newcomer Chaos Chris battled veteran New Ork Skullcrushaz, and the Skullcrushaz prevailed 1 - 0...again.

Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to our Great Doom Khorne, was in the house for tonight's game. A crowd of 23000 assembled for this Tuesday night beatdown. Let's check it out...Booyah!

New Ork gets the ball first. Before the touchback, a Skullcrushaz fan threw a rock and hit Chaos Warrior "C". Black Orc Gluum Endoom helped himself to a good foot stomping on C's head. Ouch....Endoom's hobnailed boots puncture C's helmet, nostrils, retina, earlobes, teeth, gums, skull and brains. In short, C's dead....Booyah. The ref caught Endoom, though, and he...is...outta...here. The Commish is clearly loving this opening. He's slapping his throne, bellowing, "May vultures feed upon his entrails. Praise, Khorne."

The loss of C hurts Chaos Chris. They're without Beastman "F", who was seriously injured in the last game with the Holy Terra Warriors. Down to nine players, Chaos Chris is going to have to even the field...and they do. Chaos Chris blasts Endoom's twin, Gruum Endoom, and Troll, Ort Rotgaggle. Gruum Endoom's knee explodes, and he is out. Rotgaggle hits the dirt, and at one point, four Chaos players are laying the beatdown on him, but not breaking through his toughened skin. Unbelievable!

Despite the massive beatdown that they're receiving, New Ork inches the ball closer and closer to the Chris endzone. On his last actions of the half, Ork linemen Hrumph dodges between two Beastmen, grabs the ball and delivers an accurate quick pass. Both Beastmen missed the easy interceptions, but blitzer Mawrio Killenums...drops the ball! Unbelievable! The half is over, and it is scoreless...But the blood and cartilage is everywhere. Booyah!

The second half is also a bloody mess, but New Ork starts to get the breaks. Without both Black Orcs, thrower Flenger Faar makes his return to the New Ork lineup. New Orks creates a steamrolling wall of blitzers, heading down the right sideline. Chaos Chris continue to stick it to New Ork, but New Ork starts to stand their ground. Chaos Chris start getting what they're giving. Beastman "K" is knocked out on a blitz, and out of luck, New Ork capitalizes. New Ork's best blitzer, Thum Upsnoz, breaks through the pack to grab the ball and take off for the unguarded Chaos endzone. A Beastman is in hot pursuit....blitzing...bumbling...stumbling...and...down. Booyah! Upsnoz trots into the endzone with just a few minutes left in the game. Chaos Chris can't control the ensuing kickoff, and New Ork go on the defensive, hitting Chaos Chris with everything they have left. Nothing left to show here, except more shots from your Commish: "This world remains drab and dreary. There should have been more players killed. Praise Khorne."

That's your final score, BFL fans. 1 - 0 Skullcrushaz. The Skullcrushaz are hurting, and next game, they're without Mawrio Killenums and Gruum Endoom. Both sustained smashed knees, and star Thum Upsnoz picked up a niggling injury. New Ork needs some time off, but they're not going to get it. Next up: a hungry Holy Terra Warriors. Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to Our Great Doom Khorne, uttered about the New Ork schedule: "May they die long and painfully. Praise Khorne." As for Chaos Chris: welcome to the BFL.

This is Booyah Scott. See you next time, BFL fans! Booyah!

New Ork & Vikings Grind It Out

Welcome...hiss...BFL fans. This...hiss...is...Howwurd...hiss...Cozell. Tonight, the New Ork Skullcrushaz...hiss...faced the Bloody Vikings! New Ork played great defense and ground out a 1 - 0 win...hiss.

The Bloody Vikings! tried to get physical with the Orcs, but Orc armor was too strong.  Blow after blow bounced off the Orc hides.  The Vikings' inability to break through the Orc armor sent them into frenzy.  In their berserker rage, the Norsemen forgot that the Skullcrushaz blitzers were screaming down the sidelines with the ball....literally.  The Vikings concentrated every action attacking New Ork's newest addition, Ort Rotgaggle---the renowned Troll from Cleave Land.  Rotgaggle...hiss...is an attention monger....But that's why he was hired...hiss.

Interestingly, New Ork's bruisers failed to blacken the Vikings' players, too, but instead of frustration, the Orcs, led by blitzer Snotz M'kfawlee, carried the ball into the endzone.  When asked how the Orcs played so...smart...Snotz replied, "Grog ale."  Drunken Orcs...hiss.

The rest of the first half resulted in a scrum...hiss.  New Ork played great D.  Instead of letting the Vikings have open running room, the Orcs closed in and went toe to toe.  The ball bounced across the center of the pitch multiple times, but neither side could control it.  The first half ended rather uneventfully.

The second half went nowhere.  The Vikings received the ball first, but a scrum clogged the line of scrimmage.  With nowhere to run, but plenty of players to hit, the ball was dropped, and the Norsemen began swinging.  Still, neither side could dent the others' defenses.  New Ork forced the ball back into Vikings' territory, but to no avail.  The game ended as blandly as the first half.  Few injuries and no scoring.

New Ork fans are getting used to low scoring games...hiss, but Vikings fans are frustrated that their Norsemen have not won a game.  The Vikings' next game is against the fleet Warpstone Munchers.  If they don't go berserk, the Vikings have a good chance for their first win...hiss.

That's all...hiss..from here.  This is...hiss...Howwurd Cozell.  See you next time....hiss....BFL fans.

Chaos Chris Claims Conquest

Welcome Bloodlust fans to the BFL postgame show.  This is Bri'k Mouseberg'r.  Tonight marked the first appearance of the popular Chaos Cup Champion, the Chaos Chris, in the Bloodlust Football League.  The Chaos Chris team lacked the experience of the Holy Terra Warriors.  That, however, didn't stop Chaos Chris from winning 2 - 0.

Details from the game are spotty.  An errant electical storm created by the students at the Woghart's School of Sorcery fried our broadcaster for tonight's game.  Poor Nehemiah the Strained Thought was prepared to begin broadcast of the game through his Orb of Televising when he was hit by lightning.  Nehemiah was reduced to a quivering fool, yelling "Blue, you're my boy" repeatedly.  Thus, most of our wizard cast was lost to our viewing public...but let's jump into the highlights of the best attended game of the season---28000 fans. 

The game was physical from the outset, and surprisingly, the Holy Terra Warriors held their own with the Chaos team.  The Holy Terra Warriors coaches stacked the line of scrimmage on every kickoff.  The Chaos Chris concentrated during the first half on pounding their human opponents.  The Warriors' strategy worked against themselves as Warriors players hit the dirt.  The Chaos slugfest opened a gaping hole in the line of scrimmage.  With no one to stop him, Chaos Warrior "C" carried the ball into the endzone with moments left on the first half clock.  The Chaos Chris score was helped by the Warriors pulling players from defense and sending them down the field, hoping for a miraculous recovery and heave to the endzone.  Neither occurred, and some human fans rained boos onto the pitch.

The second half did not go much better for the Holy Terra Warriors.  They lost control of the ball after a myriad of blitzes and double teams by the Chaos Chris.  With the ball in hand, Beastman "J" sprinted to the endzone.  In the one shining moment for the Warriors, new blitzer Uther Ullrich maimed Beastman "F".  Beastman "F" won't be present for the Chaos Chris's next game as he recovers.

The BFL's newest and most popular team, the Chaos Chris, made a thunderous introductory appearance.  Time will tell whether the former Chaos Cup champions can climb through the Bloodlust League.  The Chaos Chris have a stern second test, facing off against New Ork.  For the Warriors, they continue to search for a winning combination after suffering their third loss of the season.  Thankfully, human fans are resilient and continue to stick with the Warriors.  Like Chaos Chris, the Holy Terra Warriors' next game is against New Ork.

Well, that's all from here, BFL fans.  Stay tuned for BFL Live; we'll be checking on the recovery of Poor Nehemiah the Strained Thought.  This is Bri'k Mouseberg'r.  Goodbye, folks.

Libertines Pick Up First Win

Hello, BFL fans. This is Bri'k Mouseberger, reporting from the Holy Terra Warriors' locker room. Tonight, the Slaaneshi Libertines overpowered the Holy Terra Warriors by a score of 3 - 2. A nameless Beastman---we will simply call him Mutie because of his newly grown tentacle---scored all three of the Libertines' TD's.

It was a beautiful night at the H.T.W. Stadium. The Libertines drove the ball in for a 1 - 0 lead early in the first half. Then the Warriors unleashed a barrage of offense. The Warriors' Blitzer Granger Grimwulf trotted into the endzone on the first score, and the second score came through the air to "Crazy Legs" Cole. Unfortunately, the wear from the Libertines' bruising Chaos Warriors slowed them down in the second half.

The second half was all Slaaneshi, and Beastman Mutie pounded the ball into the Warriors' endzone twice. The Libertines benefited from crowd participation as several sideline throw-ins bounced the Libertines' way. Kickoffs also gave the Libertines a leg up as they pushed into the Warriors' side of the pitch.

The game ended in exciting fashion, though. A scrum in the final minutes resulted in the Warriors getting the ball. Thrower Ian "Iceman" Ingwald hurled a long bomb down field to a waiting "Assassin" Ackhart. The pass was long enough; it was accurate enough; it was....dropped by the human Blitzer. Ackhart was unblocked to the endzone. If he had caught it, the Warriors would have salvaged a tie, but that did not happen.

The Slaaneshi Libertines pick up their first win of the season. The Warriors pick up their second loss of the season, and bookies picked up heavy bags of gold as many bets failed to guess the correct spread. The Warriors had been favored in this contest, and the Chaos team had been given inducements to play.

No matter. It was another lively contest in the the BFL. Keep your Wizard Ears tuned in next week for the Holy Terra Warriors versus the all-new Chaos Chris and the New Ork Skullcrushaz versus the Bloody Vikings! Broadcasts are subject to local black out. This is Bri'k Mouseberger for BFL Live! So long, everybody.

Da Durtee Dawgz Dead?

Hello, BFL fans. This is breaking news from Greenland, home of Da Durtee Dawgz. The owner and coaches of Da Durtee Dawgz have been swallowed by an infernal chasm. The fiery hole consumed Da Dawgz as the team leaders had met to eat spider husks and discuss team strategy.

Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to Our Great Doom Khorne, had expressed revulsion regarding Da Dawgz inability to make scheduled games against the Warpstone Munchers and the Bloody Vikings!. Da Dawgz had only played one game since the start of the BFL season, a 4 - 1 beatdown by New Ork. No evidence points to Davesh's killing the Goblins. Other rumors include a cruel prank gone terribly awry by the Slaaneshi Libertines.

Regardless, Da Dawgz leaders are currently missing, and the smell of burning Goblin flesh was identified by members of Der Trollz Goblin Eatz Klub. Is this the end of Da Durtee Dawgz?!? Stay tuned...

Open Schedule Announced!

Welcome back, BFL fans.  This is Booyah Scott, and this is a BFL Live! Update.  Booyah!  The Bloodlust League continues to evolve, and this week Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to Our Great Doom Khorne, announced the league's new scheduling policy.  

Several teams had expressed difficulty in travelling to other teams' stadiums.  Despite threats of disintegration, Davesh has eased scheduling restrictions.  According to Davesh, "Teams are no longer required to play each week or to play set opponents each week.  Each team may play any opponent as it chooses with the following restriction.  Teams may play each opponent only twice during the regular season.  Violation of this rule will result in your entrails being fed to the Galadrieth Hypogriffs."

Also, Davesh stated that, "All regular season games should be completed by February 1, 2009.  Any games not played will be counted as losses for purposes of seeding in the Bloodlust Cup Playoff.  Play your games....or else."

Booyah!  The new open schedule should make it easier to accommodate all of the teams' travel needs and also make it easier for fans to follow their teams.  Davesh also hinted to a big announcement for the BFL.  What this announcement might be is anyone's guess, but there is growing rumor that several new teams from the Chaos Cup may be joining the BFL midseason.  This is Booyah Scott!  Stay tuned for more rumors and info, BFL Fans.  Booyah!

New Ork Renamed

In one of several changes to take place in the BFL, New Ork has changed its team mascot and name.  Originally known as the Gimpee Limbz, New Ork has changed its name to the Skullcrushas.  The change was made after Swag Gumrot threatened to curse New Ork's owners, players and fans.  

Gumrot is one of New Ork City's leading shamen and chiropracters, and his practice shared the team's first name, Gimpee Limbz.  After the team's disgusting 1 - 1 tie with the Warpstone Munchers, Gumrot chose to no longer share the name and any affiliation with his practice.  "I turn you to monkey.  Drop name," Gumrot threatened.

New Ork's owners agreed with the name change.  Many Orc fans had started saying that the team was playing like a gimp limb.  New Ork has tied its last two opponents, losing fans in the process.  Perhaps with a name change and roster additions, New Ork can get back on track.  So New Ork fans....Welcome the Skullcrushas!

Let There Be Stats!

Commissioner Davesh, associate underlord and personal secretary to our Great Doom Khorne, ordered Halfing scribe and Guiness Pint Record Holder for best tabulations while drunk, Phineus Phallow, to transcribe all league statistics by the week 3 games until the end of the season...or else. We have more faith that Phineus will dutifully succeed in this task than did Orc singer Hanek Bozeephus in creating a new anthem for the 2008 Bloodlust League season. Bozeephus was disintegrated by the Commissioner, upon Davesh's hearing the Orc melody.

Stats that will be compiled include team records, offense by total touchdowns, offense by average TD's per game, average TD's allowed per game, total and average casualties given per game, total and average casualties received per game and average gates for each team's games. These stats can be found on the right side of the BFL pages.

Davesh is exploring posting individual players' stats. Some observers opine that this may lead to bounties on certain teams' players. There is already rumor that the New Ork Gimpee Limbz have offered a gold incentive for the murder of a Warpstone Munchers player. This is, as yet, unconfirmed. When asked about this, Commissioner Davesh replied, "I want stars to be hunted down and killed. Praise Khorne."

Good luck to Phineus Phallow. May he be successful, lest we find his ashes in a dark bazaar's back room being snorted by Dark Elf ash snorters.